10 Things That Irritate Me About the Original Star Trek Series

I have been a major Trek fan since I can even start to remember.  I've watched almost every single episode of all of the series (except Enterprise, meh, maybe someday) and most of the movies.  So I may not be as hardcore as some out there, but still a fan.  Anyway, I've been watching the original series again from the beginning because I haven't seen it since I was a kid, and I'm sure that the things that I am about to say are not really a surprise to anyone who hasn't watched it a million times, but I noticed some things this time around that I didn't notice when I was in elementary school.  Granted, I'm only through the first season and I remember they change some stuff, but it doesn't mean I can't nit pick about it over forty years later!


1.) Everyone hails Star Trek as this awesomely revolutionary show ahead of its time that promoted equality and perfection and all that other good stuff.  I am not going to disagree with that.  Shit on there was groundbreaking for the time.  But really?  Why is there a panty shot in damn near every episode?

Hopefully she doesn't have a famous ping pong ball trick :|

How was I Dream of Jeannie not allowed to show her belly button but this is cool?

"It's okay, guys!  I found where we keep our spare Kirk!"

  "We're all working together, but you should be lucky they let women on this ship, baby!  Keep those skirts short and those pantyhose sheer!"  And when they do happen to come across a woman wearing pants (which is not very often, usually they are lucky if they are wearing much of anything) she either comes off as a feminist or she's probably evil somehow.

Not gonna lie, I actually really like this crazy outfit and even made a dress based off it once for a sewing project :P

 2.) For some reason it's really easy to get access to Engineering or the Bridge if you aren't an authorized personnel member or even if you are a fucking stranger.  Every third episode or so someone would take over Engineering and have a fight in there.

"Those aren't jazz hands!  These are jazz hands!"

Or some prisoner that they decided to let roam the ship came up to the Bridge and tried to take command away from Kirk or hold the whole damn ship hostage.

"Give me all your dilithium crystals or I swear this jumpsuit is coming off!"

I mean, at some point wouldn't you start using an access code or a key or something?  And why do they think that it's okay to leave so many strangers unattended on their ship?  If I have to see one more episode where McCoy turns around and some shady character does something shady in the SickBay, I will scream.  Okay, maybe not scream, but I will make sarcastic hand motions at the television set.


3.)  Soft focus.  Unnecessary close-ups when we should be watching the entire group of people talking and goddamned, Barbara Streisand grade, smearing Vaseline on the fucking lens, soft focus.

Poor Yeoman Rand.  I loved her and her awesome basket weave.  Wish she was on for longer!

I can almost understand using it on older cast members or maybe just the ladies to give it that nice soft feel, but it was used on the dudes too, and it was almost jarring moving from the frames that had it to the frames that didn't.

A little tongue action for the ladies ;)

4.)  Things are almost never labeled unless it has something to do with the plot of the episode.  Doors, buttons, consoles... You'd think that people would like to know where the bathrooms were on such a big ship that has so many visitors, but not on the Enterprise.  Apparently people don't have to visit Tinkletown in space.

And why the fuck are these buttons so close together?

5.)  There are times when I love their makeup artists and other times where I want to go back in time and fire all of them. 

Someone already captioned this pretty damn well.

I mean, I get putting eyeshadow on Spock.  He's an alien.  Maybe that is the color that everyone's eyelids are.  But putting it on the other guys?  I almost feel bad for Kirk sometimes!  And poor, poor Sulu!

And someday his prince did come! :)

6.) Kirk and Spock go on missions together all the damn time.  Yeah, I guess that is one way of ensuring that they are constantly interacting with each other on a regular basis, but there are other more interesting ways that they could have pulled that off.  (Especially since they were so fond of those damn closeup shots every few frames.)  But that begs the question of why bother having a second in command if they are always running off with you anyway?  Why do they take so many vital crew members with them in the first place?  Isn't there some protocol against that?

Don't worry Scotty.  You may be in red, but they never kill off a regular.

There is a reason that the President and the Vice-President don't both fly on Air Force One at the same time.  It would be a pretty lame show if Scotty ended up running the bridge.  (And he's been left in charge of it a few times!)


7.) Apparently it's impossible to see through wire mesh walls because damn near every villain is able to remain hidden behind them and some unsuspecting ensign gets shanked or strangled or knocked out.

"Shhh. I am the Bat!"

8.)  I know that they didn't exactly have the world's best budget, but really?  This is an alien:

"Don't make him angry.  You wouldn't like him when he's angry."

"Oh wait.  I think I meant to say he's even cuter when he's angry."

And this is also an alien:

Kirk thought that he'd be getting to third base with Sklegora that night, but it turns out he only made it to second.

9.)  And speaking of aliens, why are the ones that are usually just sentient lightbulbs always so much smarter than everyone on board?

"You know you boys wanna go inside me.  I haven't been walked through in millennia!"

"I know you didn't do anything to me per se, but regardless of your completely plausible explanation you will die at the hands of a tiny Clint Howard."

10.) Kirk basically did whatever the fuck he wanted to do. This includes taking his shirt off at the drop of a hat, going against orders when it suits him and shacking up with several alien chicks that might give him space herpes.

 

 

"Ah yeah!  That's the spot!"

"So, I've decided to let the two of you go despite trying to kill everyone on board.  I don't see any reason why that would be a bad idea and I certainly don't think I'll ever see you again or live to regret this decision."

I know these are all petty things and that Star Trek is an awesome show that did a lot of great things for sci-fi, but it's fun watching it all over again and picking it apart for funsies.  What's your favorite irritating Trek issue?

Oh and one last thing and I will shut up!  Why the hell was Uhura's outfit randomly yellow a few times?  It looked terrible :|

Just sayin'...